a service of Teen Challenge International, USA

7 Essential Interpersonal Relationship Skills

Written by Allen Turley on Apr 08, 2011

I have said many times that I grew more personally as a TC staff in one year than I did in four years of Bible college. We all must continue to develop and grow not only spiritually but in all areas of our lives. If we are going to be effective staff we must have good people skills! I am sure you do have them, so make sure to leave this article on the desk to be seen by the staff member that doesn’t have them!

Evaluate and challenge yourself as you ponder these skills. Consider it a “self-evaluation”. Ask God to help you see yourself truthfully as you are and to help you to grow and have healthy relationships. Pick one or two you need to work on and develop a plan of accountability. Being able to have healthy relationships is key to your success with serving the students.

1. Understanding myself

  • Do I identify my feelings accurately?
  • Do I understanding the influence of my background?

2. Talking about myself


  • Do I communicate well using nonverbal language?
  • Do I “own” my thoughts and feelings?
  • Do I express my feelings appropriately?
  • Do I share personal information appropriately?

3. Developing relationships

  • Do I reveal strengths and weaknesses appropriately?
  • Do I give feedback appropriately?
  • Do I receive feedback appropriately?
  • Can I identify and overcome barriers to trust?
  • Can I discuss my relationships constructively?

4. Defining myself

  • Have I overcome mental barriers to being assertive?
  • Do I accurately express wants
  • Do I take initiative?
  • Do I cope well with others’ negative behavior?
  • Do I not allow others to define me on their terms?

5. Listening with discipline

  • • Am I aware of my personal barriers to listening?
  • • Am I a safe person to talk to?
  • • Do I understand verbal and nonverbal language?
  • • Do I tune in to the feelings of others?
  • • Do I actively show attentiveness?
  • • Am I able to step into another’s world and see things from their perspective?

6. Helpfully responding

  • Do I communicate that I understand other’s words?
  • Do I communicate that I understand other’s feelings?
  • Do I help others clarify problems?
  • Do I help others generate solutions?

7. Managing anger and conflict

  • Am I aware of when I feel angry?
  • Do I express my anger constructively?
  • Do I handle criticism constructively?
  • Do I follow a problem-solving course of action?
  • Am I being collaborative rather than competitive?
  • Do I assume responsibility for managing conflict?

*adapted from kutenk2000.blogspot.com


Category: Training • Tag: ,

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